Merciless Madrid

When I was an impressionable little girl, I picked up a magazine at the movies that interviewed Bif Naked during her non-cancerous hardcore partying days. The interviewer asked what her most memorable event on tour has been thus far, to which she answered,"Pissing in Madrid." He proceeded to ask what her favorite place to travel was and why, and she answered,"Pissing in Madrid." Curious, methought. Yet, after reading about Madrid, there is no way I could be more excited about, ahem, visiting Madrid.

In 852 A.D., The Moors traveled from North Africa to Spain and established a permanent settlement called Magerit (Mayrit), which is the Arab name for Madrid. Muhammad I built a large fortress, alcázar, around the city in the subsequent decade. The following two centuries saw the persecution and ultimate triumph of the Christians, establishing a strong Catholic following in Madrid, seemingly characteristic of all countries within landlock of Italy.

Flash forward to 1492 (the past centuries were a blur of saints, crusades, and campaigns), when the Jewish people are expelled from Spain, emptying the Lavapiés Quarter of Madrid. The Catholic Church erected the monastery of San Jerónimo el Real in 1501, which is still used for weddings today.

Felipe II moves his court from Barcelona (see Busy in Barcelona post for his predecessor) to Madrid, making Madrid the official capital of Spain. Over the next two centuries and four Felipes later, San Lorenzo del Escorial, Plaza Mayor, and the Palacio del Buen Retiro are built; Miguel de Cervantes, who authored Don Quixote, dies; and Spanish becomes the official language of Madrid thanks to the establishment of the Royal Academy of the Spanish language in the city.

1759 hailed the arrival of King Carlos III in Madrid and he builds some of the most famous pieces of architecture in Madrid today, including La Cibeles, Neptune and Apollo, the Royal Botanic Gardens, and the Palacio Real.

In 1808, Madrid loses the battle to overthrow the occupying French forces. They are defeated in under five hours, leaving more than 1000 Madrileños dead in the streets. Wellington finally ousts the French during the Peninsular Wars (well ... they retreated, actually) and seizes the Church properties in Spain. Finally, Madrid has entered the Industrial revolution.

A railway is built, the fortress walls are taken down, and Madrid opens to the rest of the world. In 1873, Spain declares its first Republic, making use of its new Cortes (Parliament). Unfortunately, First Republic implies that there is probably a second republic coming. Alfonso XII restores the Bourbon monarchy to the throne, continuing to build the extensive infrastructure plans started in Madrid with the railway. Underground lines and the first Metro station are completed in 1921 under Alfonso XIII. The monarch is exiled in 1931 when Spain declares its Second Republic.

The Spanish Civil War ensues, Juan Carlos I assumes the throne after the death of Franco, establishing a democracy. In 1978, a new constitution is approved by the Spanish people. Things were looking up for the Madrileños, until 1981, when Colonel Tejero attempts a futile coup d'état. In the same year, Picasso's masterpiece Guernica, which visually documents the ravages of the world wars, is returned to Spain.

During socialist rule, Madrid is declared the Cultural Capital of Europe by the European Union, referring specifically to its museums, palaces, and talented artists. In 1996, the conservatives succeed the socialists in an election. Socialist government returns to power in 2004, when terrorist bombs were planted on commuter trains and the people blamed the Conservatives for mishandling the tense situation. The Al-Queda claimed responsibility for the attacks. In 2008, the socialists were officially elected.

What to see in Madrid? The formula is the same for all of Europe when you are a tourist flying through the city: see the palaces, churches, and museums. Catedral de San Isidro, Iglesia de San Jerónimo el Real, Iglesia de San Nicolas (a mosque-style church built by ... Christians?), the Palacio Real, and the Palacio del Buen Retiro.

Additionally, perhaps the most famous painters in Europe were born in Madrid. CaixaForum is the newest art gallery, showcasing mostly modern art and housing an auditorium in the basement for film screenings, concerts, and poetry readings. Centro de Arte Reina Sofía houses Picasso's Guernica, one of the most controversial pieces of art in the history of Europe (and the painting everybody massacred on the AP Social Studies exam). See all four floors to see Dalí, Picasso, and Miró. The first and third floors are reserved for temporary exhibitions, while the second and fourth floors house the 20th century great works and post-Civil war Spanish art, respectively. The Museo del Prado has been said to contain so many famous canvasses, that we have been advised to split our visit into a few days to cover them all. The most famous collections at the Prado include Titian, Velásquez, Bosch, Angelico, Goya, and El Greco. Museo Thyssen-Bornemisza contains modern American, Impressionist, Expressionist, and Cubist artists. The story goes that Baron Heinrich Thyssen-Bornemisza travelled around the world, buying the most advanced and up-and-coming art. His son, Hans, inherited the collection but died in 2002. Thus, Carmen Cervera, Heinrich's wife, took over, expanded the collection to 775 paintings and established a permanent Spanish home for the collection (there were talks of it moving to Switzerland, where the Baron was born). To the Madrileños, the museum is simply 'La Thyssen'.



For the anthropology freaks in our midst, we might want to make a stop at Museo Arqueológico Nacional, where you can find a replica of prehistoric Cantabrian paintings under the beautiful outdoor garden. The Classics freak in me is drooling over the prospect of seeing Basque bowls from the Bronze Age and the Dama de Elche, which is a bust of woman adorned with jewels and a famous hairdo.

The heart of Madrid, however, lies in the Tabernas. It has been said that the tabernas are to Madrid what pubs are to London. Some of the tabernas, like Casa Botín, date back to the 18th century. In fact, Casa Botín is the oldest restaurant in the world, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, established in 1725. Its specialties are suckling pig and wood-fired lamb. Not a fan of suckling pig? Try huevos rotos sobre patates (eggs broken over potatoes) at Almendro 13, or delicia de Idiazábal (fried ewe's milk cheese). A perfect compliment to your tapas are the house wines - different for every Taberna.

Flamenco. Enough said. Casa Patas requires a reservation.

El Corte Inglés is like Galeries Lafayette in Paris, except that there is 13 of them in Madrid. Think West Edmonton Mall but way cooler because its in Spain. Sweet shops? Mallorca contains the best of turron and mazapanes (a soft, almond nougat and marzipan ... also with almonds). Or Monasterio de Corpus Christi - yes, you can find candy made by nuns! La Violeta serves sugared violets (flowers); Santa sells "giant sweets", whatever that means; and Caramelos Paco has one of the most enticing window displays in Spain. When shopping in Madrid, remember that there is tax. It's called the IVA (ee-bah) and will not always be listed on the bill, so ask if you are not sure. If you spend enough, you can get all of the IVA back when you leave the country, so save those receipts!

Enough of this daytime drudgery. A typical Madrid day starts at 8am, when businesses open. Have your toast and coffee for breakfast, but save an appetite for chocolate y churros at 10:30 or 11am, because you won't be having lunch until after 2pm. That is when "siesta" begins, so businesses are closed, but you can find most people at the streetside cafes, enjoying drinks, tapas, and, eventually, lunch. Pace yourself, though, because locals don't have dinner until after 10:30pm. The clubs look like Halo at 9pm at 12am, and (get this) cover does not apply until 4am for most clubs. Joy Eslava is a celebrity dancing haunt in Madrid, whereas Kapital is a seven-storey club which plays different music on every floor. Lucky for us, the night buses circulate until 6am, picking up the poor blokes who missed the last Metro.

I have been alerted to the fact that Madrid is famous for cured hams and they are not ... fond of vegetarians. The new, young, international-savvy University crowd has created a demand for a few vegetarian establishments, but your gastronomical experience will be greatly enhanced by sucking it up and eating that pig. Where, you ask, should we eat? La Bola is a moderately priced restaurant which presents a staunchly madrileño menu, including cocido - a spicy, often seafoody stew - served in traditional earthenware bowls. Even cheaper, Soidemersol serves homemade fare at dirt cheap prices.



Oh Madrid. So much to do and so little time.

I have decided that food deserves a special, stand-alone post, so watch out for my interjection on the cuisine of each city. It will entice and delight!

¡Adiós mis chums!